hey good people came across this intresting literature and thot i would share it with all my lovely sistas out there
BWG Ministries™
Raising women of unsurpassable beauty
Dear Beautiful Woman of God,
On October 29, 2006 a Boeing 737 passenger jet operated by ADC Airlines crashed into a cornfield in the Nigerian Capital of Abuja, about two minutes after take off. Of the 105 people on board the ill-fated flight (a number of who were prominent personalities) only nine survivors were rushed to the National Hospital. As news of the crash spread, anger and resentment stirred among the masses since this crash comes about a year after two other domestic disasters claimed the lives of more than 200 people. "Cost—cutting" (a euphemism for corrupt "corner cutting") is the underlying cause of the plane crashes. While those involved in this unfortunate practice have enjoyed considerable financial gain, the loss of lives has proved to be too high a cost and retribution is being sought.
What happened in this case is an all too common phenomenon. People often try to bend the rules a little, effectively disregarding safety procedures, instead opting to do things their own way. While there may be an initial gain and satisfaction, the resulting cost often proves to be too high. The same is true when it comes to Christian dating and marriage. God (who is the Author, Creator, and Source of all good things) has provided His law, as well as guidelines to protect us and enable us to choose wisely—according to His Will. Instead, we try to circumvent God's best, choosing to adopt a "cost-cutting approach." However, whenever we ignore God's teachings, we rob ourselves of enjoying the best, and may find ourselves paying a high price as we come crashing down. As such, let's explore a Biblical method for getting the man you want. Whether you are single and looking forward to marriage, or are already married, today's message is for you!
In many societies and cultures of our present world, "woman" is treated as a second—class citizen. The men often make decisions and rule with iron fists, while the women serve them. Even in what are considered to be "progressive societies" men receive differential treatment. In Western countries, regardless of the educational qualifications and experience, many women continue to earn less than their male counterparts with similar qualifications. In Europe and in Corporate America, the "Glass Ceiling" continues to limit the professional advancement of women in certain corporations. In response to this, the Feminist Movement continues to push for equal rights for women. In the 1960s, women started burning things and started trying to be macho. The question now is, "what does God have to say about this?" Perhaps we should go back to the very beginning.
In Genesis chapter three, Adam and Eve sinned. As Romans 6:23 says, "The wages of sin is death" implying that there is always a consequence to sin. In the case of Eve, one of the consequences was that Adam would rule over her. "To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you" (Genesis 3:16 , emphasis mine).
From then on, we read of the horrendous treatment of women and of the atrocities committed against them by men in the Bible. We read about rape, polygamy, incest, and so on. Does this suggest that God also views women as second—class citizens? In the context of the family, is the wife's role to be the cook, maid, and child-bearing machine? Let's again refer to Genesis.
"And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him ." Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:18—24, emphasis mine).
The role of a "wife" is to be a "helper" to her husband. The two are equal but have differing functions. Just as in any organization, the husband serves as the "head," while the wife supports him. You cannot have two "heads" because this would produce conflict! "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her," (Ephesians 5:22—25).
This is not a very popular subject, and in fact, "submission" is seen as a dirty word. After all, no one wants to be treated like a doormat. However, let's try to understand why God has instituted the man as the head. When Jesus came to Earth and dwelt among men, He made it clear that "woman" is to be treated with honor and respect (not to trample as a doormat!). Jesus spoke to women who were shunned and despised (the Samaritan woman at the well; Mary Magdalene; woman with the issue of blood etc), He allowed women to touch Him and minister to Him, and He didn't condemn them. Jesus had women disciples, and He first appeared to women after His resurrection. Women can therefore embrace their femininity and stop fighting the men!
Although Jesus elevated the status of women in society, He didn't come to change the law, but to fulfil it. Therefore, God's order in the institution of marriage still stands. You must realize that God wired men and women differently. Women express and receive love differently from men. Most often, women thrive on quality time with their spouses—they want to be cherished and specially cared for. Men, on the other hand, thrive on being problem-solvers and crave respect. According to a survey by Christian Author Jim Burns, husbands would rather feel a loss of loving feelings from their wives, than feel that their wives don't respect them. [1] Just as "love" is crucial for the wife, "respect" is crucial for the husband. Ladies, if you want your man to cherish you and shower you with the love and attention you desire, begin to give him the respect that he needs. Make him feel like the King of his home, then watch out, he'll start treating you like his Queen!
The research has been done, and the high divorce rate and spate of unhappy marriages attest to this. Whenever we try to assume a role or function that God didn't intend for us, the result is always disastrous! It's time for Christian women to stop bossing their husbands around and to eliminate nagging from their lives. You might have all the degrees and might be more eloquent than your introverted husband, however, if you don't allow that man to fulfil his God—given role as the leader of your home, and to provide for you, you will miss the blessings that follow! Submission is a requisite for enjoying the fulfilling marriage that you desire. Therefore, instead of criticizing that man for everything he does wrong begin to praise him for the little he does right!
As single women, we are also vulnerable to falling into this trap. Many of us are desperately trying to escape singlehood and are ready to shout, "I Do" to the first man who comes our way—as long as he has a pulse and visits a Church! Others of us are praying to God to bring us a spiritual "Superman" while others have given up, lamenting that "Godly-husband-material type men" don't exist. However, I beg to differ.
Instead of wasting this season of singlehood, brooding over the fact that you're single (as if it's a disease!), I believe that God Has a purpose and a plan for you while you're single. Moreover, if you've been praying for a Godly Superman, ask yourself this question, "Am I a Godly Superwoman?" Why should Mr. Superman have to settle for anyone less than Mrs. Superwoman? Therefore, instead of looking for "Mr. Right," spend your time becoming "Mrs. Right." As we saw in the book of Genesis, when Adam was busy fulfilling his calling, God created Eve and brought her to him at the right time. Dear sisters, stop running around town looking for a man! Instead, focus on improving yourself and becoming the right person. God is a jealous God, and He will not allow a man to take His place in your life! While you are waiting, learn how to be a Godly wife (read Proverbs 31:10—31 and Ephesians 5:22—23 for an in-depth description)!
Now that we have a basic understanding of the role of a wife, the question remains: So, how do you get the man you want? I believe we can glean useful lessons from the life of Ruth. I encourage you to pick up your Bible and read Ruth chapters one through four. Ruth was a Moabitess who, after ten years of marriage, became a widow. Her mother-in-law Naomi had lost both her sons and her husband and decided to return to her home in Bethlehem. She told Ruth and Orpah (her other daughter-in-law) to return to their parents so that they could re-marry and have security. However, Ruth chose to abandon everything and everyone she knew to follow Naomi.
"But Ruth said:"Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go ; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, And there will I be buried. The LORD do so to me, and more also, If anything but death parts you and me" (Ruth 1:16—17, emphasis mine).
Ruth was effectively turning her back on her family, on her homeland, on her gods, and on her possibility for marriage! First of all, as a widow, she wouldn't have a long line of men waiting outside her door (but she might have found someone who would be interested in her if she stayed in Moab). As a foreigner in Bethlehem, her chances of re-marrying were slim! Moreover, she would always be a "stranger" and she would probably be poor, since there was no husband to care for her. In addition, what would happen to her once Naomi died? There was so much on the line, but Ruth was willing to risk everything! She surrendered to Naomi's God and chose to follow Him.
Ladies, I believe that the first thing we must do is surrender to God. Like Ruth, we've got to commit ourselves to Him wholeheartedly. God doesn't want 80%, He wants all of you! I know what you're thinking: If I let go, He might keep me single! I may never get married! My biological clock is ticking! However, the longer you hold on and try to orchestrate your life, the longer you keep yourself from enjoying God's best . Ruth didn't know if she would one day enjoy the affection of a Godly husband and the security of a "home" but she took a step of faith, surrendered to God, and stepped outside her comfort zone. And God, who is faithful and trustworthy, began to write her love story!
In Ruth 1:22 we are told, " So Naomi returned, and Ruth the Moabitess her daughter-in-law with her, who returned from the country of Moab . Now they came to Bethlehem at the beginning of barley harvest (emphasis mine)." Do you think it was a coincidence that they arrived in Bethlehem at the beginning of the barley harvest (as opposed to arriving at the end)? Do you realize the importance of this simple fact? If Ruth and Naomi hadn't arrived in "due season" and at the appointed time, they would have missed God's best! The beginning of the harvest meant that the two women who had no man to provide for them, would not starve. In addition, it was while she was busy picking grain in the fields during barley harvest that Ruth met Boaz.
Boaz was a wealthy 50 year old man who was probably not the Superman that Ruth might have initially imagined herself with! We don't know her exact age, but she could have been in her late 20s or early 30s, so it is doubtful that she would ever have prayed, "Lord please give me a 50 year old man!" However, as we will see next week, Boaz was the man that she wanted—he was the man who would love her as Christ loves the Church. He was the man who would cherish her as her heart desired, and with whom she would enter into the lineage of Jesus. If you are married, become the right person and allow God to mould you into the Godly wife that you're supposed to be. Then as you begin to respect and honor your husband, watch God transform him into the loving husband that you want!
Next week, we will examine five key things that Ruth did, that brought her and Boaz together, and we will also investigate who Boaz was and determine how and why he was God's best for Ruth. For now, surrender to God and focus on becoming the right person—seek to be the Godly woman that He created you to be. Allow God to refine you so that you reflect His glory and He will make all things beautiful in His time.
Till next week, remain beautiful...from the inside out.
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